CHINA HAUNTS RETURN

One of my favorite stories from my trip to China in 2006 is my Kill bill like adventure. During the entire trip, I kept looking for Kung Fu schools in the cities that I visited, and somehow, all of the kung fu schools had been replaced with basketball courts. Yep, basketball. WTF? right? China, the home of Jet Li and Jackie Chan etc etc. Finally after two weeks if traveling, I am in a city called Dali, which is set in the mountains pretty close to Tibet. Walking along the old streets of this town, I come across a poster with a dude doing a badass high kick, doing kung fu, and the poster indicates that he teaches kung fu. BINGO!! I go in the store and ask about where this dude is and he hand over a business card with a weeeeeeeeeee little map on the back. Doesnt look that far, so why not??

An hour later after climbing a mountain via mountain bike, which Ive given up on, there is a dude with long hair and his American girlfriend tells me that kung fu class is about to begin. I say fuckit!! My ex husband finds himself a friend that is getting high and goes to get stoned, and I attend a two hour kung fu class (remember I just climbed a frikkin mountain). I did 3-4 days of kung fu in the mountain and it was my favorite part of the trip (ex husband was happy too cause he was getting high off his gourd, and YES, I judged him and obviously still do).

I kept that tiny business card on my fridge for the last 4 years and alas, the universe has delivered me the kung fu master. He came to visit last weekend and stayed with me, here are some picks to prove it. There are a ton more, but this is what I worked on today.

Thank you Xuan Yun for the Tai Chi lessons. here is a link to his WEBSITE

UNITY AT LAST

I just realized that I achieved a really important goal in my life.

The goal was for my gut feeling and my mind to operate as one. Neither one is fighting with the other any more.

I feel such peace and resolve by this union, it is like a marriage of the two that have always meant to be together.

STRANGE DAILY EVENTS

I didnt realize that looking for a bookkeeper could be so comically complex and strange.

Victoria (my studio manager) and I drive downtown and are running late to our appointment with a highly recommended bookeeper and accountant. We call to confirm and tell them we are running 5 mins late, they say OK. Vikki drops me off (michigan ave) and I rush to the 15th floor. I enter and get promptly escorted to the fake leather couch, FOX news is clicked on the TV to pacify me while I wait. The baseball shaped bowl next to me is filled with chocolate mint candies wrapped with $100,000 screen printed wrappers. Surrounding the TV, which is talking about terrorist and death and good ole FOX news banter, is an array of chatchkes, a Frank Sinatra plastic doll, bears hats, tinsel, teady bears, and other random things strewn about that dont make any sense. I also must add that it smells like musty brown shag carpet.

While I am waiting I notice on the door that not only does this place provide accounting and bookkeeping services, they also do passport photos as I simultaneously notice a Polaroid tab on the couch next to me, I think to myself, "this doesn't make any congruent sense". Soon after, a group of 3 foreign people come in and are greeted by an other office person that looks like a Scooby Doo character. He is square bodied with square glasses, and has 70s style auburn hair that fits like a wavy helmet on his head.

Victoria walks in and looks at me, I look at her back and I shrug my shoulders, she does the same and squeezes next to me as the rest of the couch is crowded with passport picks people waiting their turn. In walk in 2 more immigrant-like folk. We are all crammed in this tiny couch, shag, Sinatra, fox news area. Mr. Scooby Doo pulls out a polaroid contraption attached to a long extension chord which is being pulled across our feet. Scooby Doo lines up his first victim on the wall and stands at our feet shooting polaroids, I look at the first subject and she has her finest hair and makeup job on. Bright pink lips sharply lined with maroon lip liner, a good amount of mascara to accentuate her dark eyes, and big dangly white earrings that pop against her darker complexion.

I finally think to myself or maybe out loud to Vikki (I dont remember) "What the fuck is going on?" Vikki boldly stands up and shuffles past Scooby Doo as he is passing out polaroids and collecting cash, she inquires about our appointment and why we have been sitting in this strange scenario for like 15 minutes (frankly it felt like half and hour).

We are finally informed that the person we made our appointment has not arrived in the office yet and noone knows where the fuck she is and she is not answering her phone.

so alas, we are left with no new bookkeeper, but a hell of a fuckin story!!

BIG & littles

I had a burger at BIG & littles yesterday, uuuh... yeah... one of the better burgers Ive had in a long ass time. It was a protein explosion, had an egg and cheese on it, believe it or not, I ate it all, I ate all my fries, they have truffle fries there too. I highly recommend it for cheap amazingnessocity. The dudes there were totally great as well, playing some fabs ragae tunage. GO! 939 North Orleans Street.

KITCHEN CRASH

small kitchen + hot oven + plastic tools + multitasking + fun cooking = dead mandoline + funny photo + lesson learned + laughter

all good things

NINJA DIATRIBE

Last friday I shot for the fabulous online boutique twentythirtyforty.net

these lady's know style, they're smart, they're savy, they're funny, they kicked my ass with their coolness. Check out their wares on above linky. Ninja also had something to say as well, she was on her own trajectory though, zen dog must do what zen dog do.

AALIINEEEEAAAAAAHHHH

I had the great honor of going to Alinea this last weekend. CLICK HERE FOR MORE PHOTOS What I was left with the feeling that that restaurant, or whatever it is, needs to hook up an MRI machine to read the brains activities while a person is experiencing this insane culinary explosion. HOLY SHIT! I cant stop dissecting it in my mind and trying to figure out exactly what it was that I saw, felt, tasted, smelled, all I know is that when I try to verbalize it, it doesn't work.

PARENTS!

I know this is a weird blog entry, but I dont care, cause its my blog :)

If you remember when you were 11 and felt like shit, this is probably why you did. If you have kids around age 11, please read this and think about it.

When kids are young they act adoring of you, obeying you and obviously acting like they want you to like and approve of them – when they reach 11-ish on up this changes.

When kids get to this stage most parents feel:

• Disrespected
• A deep feeling of loneliness at the lost of the unconditional acceptance and esteem the child gave them when the child was younger
• Angry at the kid’s pseudo independent behaviors
• Threatened and powerless – this makes the parent do threatening things that make the child feel powerless (classic example: as long as you are under my roof you will follow my rules)
• Questioned and upset because it feels to the parent like the child is challenging their power and authority

This is the stage of development – that if not understood and responded to appropriately – causes the most permanent damage to the parent / child relationship.

It is not a child’s job to understand his parents. It is not something a child can even truly do in the way we need them to. It is the parent’s job to understand the child’s developmental needs and adjust to the child’s attempts at independence, honesty (calling his parents on their actions) and asserting himself behaviors.

At this stage things need to be extremely consistent – non shaming – and the rules you set up need to be clearly defined and adhered to. The rules must be fair and easy to understand from a child’s perspective – not an adult’s.

BOYS

I couldnt wait to post this, more shots to come.

Yesterday I shot for St Lawrence High Schools Rock club. These kids learn everything they can about being in a rock band, learn the ins and outs of the industry, and practice their asses off for their end of the year concert. KIDS LEARNING ABOUT SOMETHING THEY ACTUALLY LIKE!! how bout that??

SELF LOVE LIGHTING TEST

I played around with lighting, havent used gels in a while.

BENBENBEN

heres Columbia Colleges video of my intern BEN RODIG. hes great!

MEMEMEME

Columbia College came to the studio one day, and this is what happened:

VIDEO

REISHI SCHROOM PLANET

HOLY SOUP!

Fall has come, the farmers market is chalk full of squash of all colors, shapes and sizes as well as apples and some crazy mushrooms called "hen of the woods" (apparently this mushroom is a great chicken replacement).

Here is a soup celebrating fall produce.

COCONUT CURRY ACORN SQUASH SOUP

6 little red onions, little meaning 2" diameter (or whatever you have)
2 acorn squash
1 red bell pepper
2 cups chicken broth
1/2 can coconut milk
alcohol - I just threw in stuff I had - a little dry rum, a little more champaign, and vermouth
curry powder
salt
pepper

preheat the oven to 400 degrees
cut the acorn squash in half, scoop the guts n seeds out into a bowl (we're gonna toast the seeds later)
lightly coat the squash halves with grape seed oil, and put in a baking dish face down, stick em in the oven for 45ish minutes
roast the red pepper over the flame on yer stove till burnt black all over, then stick in a plastic bag.
slice the onions in 1/8" thick rings (i used my mandolin)
heat a large pot
when the pot is hot, add the onions and cook till carmelised a bit
add the alcohol, and broth
skin and seed the roasted pepper, slice thinly and add to the mix
when the squash is cooked (should soft and soopable like ice cream) scoop out and add to the mix
add curry, salt, pepper
add the coconut milk
simmer for 30ish minutes

sooooo rich and soo delish. If you wanna purree this, go for it!!

if you like, toast the squash seeds in the oven with a tad of oil and salt to garnish the soup, or to just eat as a snacky

EPIPHANY

The need to speak, talk about oneself, interrupt, and not listen comes from the fear of innadequacy, the need to prove that we are good,cool,amazing, likable, lovable. Combined with others that are doing the same, the accomplishment to prove that we are good is lost, since the other party is not listening either.

SEXY FOOD

EH? What does that mean? Food is sexy when it makes you feel exhilarated when you are cooking it, and cant flippin wait to eat it. The smell of it, the look of it, the taste of it gives you goose bumps.

MUSHROOM LOVE:
poratbella mushrooms
eggs
olive oil
champaign
goat ggouda
black ppepper sea salt


hot pan - olive oil - sliced mushrooms - add champaign - salt - pepper - after shrooms are wilty and sluggy - add eggs (don't scramble too much but break yolks) - add cheese - flip and fry/melt cheese till a tiny crisp forms

ooh man!!!

LITTLE MAN, MEDIUM TREE, BIG TEMPLE

BEAUTY... RAIN...PEACE...JAPAN

THE NINJA UPDATE

I keep gettinging inquiries about Ninjas recovery, so I figured Id just post it here so all could know what was up. If you don't know what happened, in short, I went out of town, ninja got antsy and slipped out of her collar, ran into the street and got hit by a car. She is in week 2 of her recovery, the stitches in her booty are healed (I call her frankenbooty) and she is totally pissed that I am not taking her out for walks. She is peppy and happy otherwise, and very excited to get back to normal livin, and frankly, I am very excited too. Thank you and kisses from ninja and I xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

DRUNKEN MAYHEM

Erikas Saturday night

The Black Beetle on Chicago Ave. sits awaiting my arrival, I enter the scene and my neighbors are there celebrating their move to an other city, an other life experience. They are already beginning their nightly lubrication of rum, beer, what have you. I am really great at being around drunk people, its a talent I have, I can act goofier than them, which then distract them from the fact that Im not drinking.

In walks the main antagonist of the night, Chip. Chip is a large and tall aggressive overweight burly self loathing alcoholic with grey bags under his eyes and a look of internal despair masked with aggressive rage who isn't afraid of making a fool of himself. I can roll with the punches with ye ole Chip, he talks about having a vagina, and I validate how wonderful his vagina must be, he talks pornographically and I call back with grosser phrases, unexpected from a lady like me. In the meantime, he oils his wheels more with his rum and diet coke as he said

'the diet coke for the fattass on a diet, and the rum for the alcoholic" I say, "yes sir indeed!! Drink up mother fucker!!".

the drama begins - Mr Chip goes to the bathroom and returns quickly with a panicked look in his eye. He retells what just happened in the bathroom which basically is : a really gross nerdy, greasy, overweight, loner guy who lookes lke a mole is visibly masturbating in the bathroom. Chip is clearly freaked and orders a shot to calm his nerves. After the shot seeps into his bloodstream, he begins to tell me that he wants to fuck me and make out with me. I tell him no thanks, this doesn't work as this begins to be his mantra for the night. He has spotted his prey and he wont veer from it. At one point he straddles me and sits his overweight alcoholic wreaking body on mine and starts dry humping me. In hindsight, I wish that I would have instantly grabbed his doughnut blobs of fat and squeezed as hard as I could and then head butt him, but no I remain calm and polite. Ah regret is such a bitch sometimes.

People get more drunk and I begin fucking with them, speaking in gibberish, taking photos of them, directing them, basically running the show, although Chip the antagonist is on his own schedule, but i ignore him and he gets distracted by other things, mainly going outside and getting high, on what, i can only imagine.
Good times are had with the neighbors and have a fun time dancing with the other descent drunken folk, as I said, i can roll with the punches, all in all good people.

Its time to go! They stammer and smoke weed and cigarettes, and stumble on to the next destination, and I walk home.

This story basically illustrates why I don't go to bars very often.