DRUNKEN MAYHEM

Erikas Saturday night

The Black Beetle on Chicago Ave. sits awaiting my arrival, I enter the scene and my neighbors are there celebrating their move to an other city, an other life experience. They are already beginning their nightly lubrication of rum, beer, what have you. I am really great at being around drunk people, its a talent I have, I can act goofier than them, which then distract them from the fact that Im not drinking.

In walks the main antagonist of the night, Chip. Chip is a large and tall aggressive overweight burly self loathing alcoholic with grey bags under his eyes and a look of internal despair masked with aggressive rage who isn't afraid of making a fool of himself. I can roll with the punches with ye ole Chip, he talks about having a vagina, and I validate how wonderful his vagina must be, he talks pornographically and I call back with grosser phrases, unexpected from a lady like me. In the meantime, he oils his wheels more with his rum and diet coke as he said

'the diet coke for the fattass on a diet, and the rum for the alcoholic" I say, "yes sir indeed!! Drink up mother fucker!!".

the drama begins - Mr Chip goes to the bathroom and returns quickly with a panicked look in his eye. He retells what just happened in the bathroom which basically is : a really gross nerdy, greasy, overweight, loner guy who lookes lke a mole is visibly masturbating in the bathroom. Chip is clearly freaked and orders a shot to calm his nerves. After the shot seeps into his bloodstream, he begins to tell me that he wants to fuck me and make out with me. I tell him no thanks, this doesn't work as this begins to be his mantra for the night. He has spotted his prey and he wont veer from it. At one point he straddles me and sits his overweight alcoholic wreaking body on mine and starts dry humping me. In hindsight, I wish that I would have instantly grabbed his doughnut blobs of fat and squeezed as hard as I could and then head butt him, but no I remain calm and polite. Ah regret is such a bitch sometimes.

People get more drunk and I begin fucking with them, speaking in gibberish, taking photos of them, directing them, basically running the show, although Chip the antagonist is on his own schedule, but i ignore him and he gets distracted by other things, mainly going outside and getting high, on what, i can only imagine.
Good times are had with the neighbors and have a fun time dancing with the other descent drunken folk, as I said, i can roll with the punches, all in all good people.

Its time to go! They stammer and smoke weed and cigarettes, and stumble on to the next destination, and I walk home.

This story basically illustrates why I don't go to bars very often.

MANMADE LAWS

YOU ARE

FRENCH CANADIAN BLABBER

As you might know, I was born in Quebec City Canada, a 400 year old city chalk full of old traditional food, clothes, architecture, and language. Whenever talking to my relatives, especially my mom, strange and funny phrases pop up that stop me in my tracks and make me laugh my ass off.

I did a little research and found a sampling for your enjoyment


Petter plus haut que le trou - farting higher than your asshole - getting too big for your britches

Faire caller son pipi - making his urine curdle - masturbating

Je vas ten crisser use claque - I'm gonna Jesus you a smack - I'm gonna smack you

Calme toi le pom pon - calm your hat pom pon - calm down

Attend tu le messie - are you waiting for the messiah? what are you waiting for?

Acouche! - Give birth! - get on with it!

Jai laire de la chein a Jacque - I look like jacks bitch - I look like shit

Il na pas inventee les boutons a quatre trou - he didn't invent the four holed button- he ain't that smart.

Faire pleura Jeanette - making Jeanette cry - a man going to take a piss

Face de cochon ( my grandma coined this one) - pig face

Laid come un pette- as ugly as a fart

Avoire les jambes a la pisse - having piss legs - bow legged.

Commenced a s' accouter pisser - beginning to listen to yourself piss - a teenager beginning to be aware of his verility

A LITTLE RANT

I usually don't talk about my ex husband on my blog but somehow this struck me. I love cooking and have been my hole life, and I taught my ex husband the how's and what's and who's of cooking.

There was a trick that my mom taught me about cucumbers that if you have a bitter one, you cut the tip off and rub it in circles on the end and a milk white substance comes out which eliminates the bitterness. He mocked me and made me believe that it was a fallacy, and I actually believed him and stopped doing it. I just read a farmers post on Twitter mentioning this trick and that it works.

I guess the point of this story, don't let the unknowing and blind lead you down their false and unknowing beliefs.

I LOVE...

thanks Sean Williams for taking our picture

GET OUTA MY FACE PHOTOGRAPHER!

DROOLING

This is what it looks like in a chocolate factory.

MORE REALITY DISTORTION

I shot a Beauty story for Chicago Mag. here are some retouching notes on one of my fave shots.

EYE BALL

My black eye with shutter look at your eye with powder. My black eye admire your powdery eye and freeze a moment of your eyes life for other peoples eyes to look at and admire.

BANG BANG YER DED

I shot some gunz this past juleye. I was filled with fear, excitement, power, fragility, respect, curiosity, fascination etc etc etc.

BANG BANG YER DED 2

GIRLS GOTTA EAT

This morning I woke up with the gumption to cook my ass off. First I tossed a pork chop rubbed with black pepper in the oven, then made a kohlrabi and apple slaw, and a Moroccan stew. here be some recipes:

SLAW:

2 kohlrabi

1 apple (whatever kind you got works fine)

cilantro chutney (got this from the indian market)

olive oil

white vinegar

ground black pepper

peel and shred the kohlrabi (i use a mandolin)

shred the apple

toss themz in a bowl

toss in oil, vinegar, and a spoonful of cilantro chutney, add pepper

YUM!

MOROCCAN LAMB STEW:

ground lamb

1 onion

3 leeks

1 eggplant

handful of cherry tomatoes

1 cup (aprox) white wine (would have used red but its all i had)

1 can chick peas

2 c chick broth

1 small can tom sauce

cinnamon

fennel

sauté lamb in pot with fennel, brown the bottom of pan

add the white wine to scrape off browns

remove cooked lamb from pot

add olive oil to pot

sauté onions and leeks till browned and caramelized, add tomatoes, sauté more, add eggplant and lamb and a little more wine. simmer for a bit, add the broth and tom sauce, add a shake or two of cinnamon, simmer the thang for bout 3o mins.

This stuff tastes better if it sits for a day, so Im gonna have it for lunch tomorrow. WOOOOHOOOO!

I LIKE SHOOTN SEXY WOMEN AND I AINT GAY

HONK HONK

VROOM VROOM!

Fancy pants cars, for fancy pants people.

WOMEN TALKING BOUT GEAR N STUFF

WOMEN IN PHOTOGRAPHY/DESIGN/ADVERTISING
Julia Childs was a stubborn minded, elegant woman who was faced with the male dominated industry of chefdom. Fortunately for her brilliance and perseverance, she bulleted through that stigma and was deemed one of the most influential people in the culinary arts. Her feminine charm and warmth was a breath of fresh air that flipped the industry on its head.

One can’t help but notice a similarity in the photo industry although that is thankfully rapidly changing. We are now able to name more than 5 female assistants, female digital techs, etc. etc. This seminar is purely a discussion of how women have progressed in this field and where we stand now.

I decided to simplify and informally hold the seminar at my studio august 2nd and begin with a round table discussion. If this all works we can then plan more for future events of this nature. Thank you for your endless patience, this time its happening for real. please forward this email to any women who would be interested in attending.


Date: Monday, August 2
Time: 6:30
Place: Erika Dufour Photography
2140 w Fulton Street
Contact: erika@erikadufour.com

LAMB STEW YUM YUM

Went to the Logan Square Farmers Market yesterday to see what they had to offer which prompted inspiration to make some lamb stew.

ERIKAS RANDOM THROW WHATEVER IN LAMB STEW (its fucking delicious said my friend mark)

Lamb stew meat

olive oil

3ish red onions

1 zucchini

1 eggplant

1 tomato

red wine

mushroom broth

salt

pepper

sautee lamb meat in olive oil in stock pot till browned, remove meat, add red wine to pot (bout 1/2 cup??) scraping the meat browns of the bottom of the pot (thats the good stuff), pour this red wine reduction over meat resting in the bowl. add more oil to pot, caramelize the onions, add zucchini, eggplant, and tomato, reincorporate the meat and wine reduction, add the mushroom broth, salt pepper, simmer for 1 hour.

Serve over whatever you like, potato, pasta, brown rice, cous cous, baguette, or just plain!

FARMING IT!

This last weekend I went on a day trip visiting farms in Indiana learning the ins and outs of blueberry, corn and pig farming. I learned so frikkin much, I hope I can retain all of the information. The bus left Chicago from the Whit Hotel rain pouring down from all sides, I thought, this will be an experience indeed! The clouds opened up upon arrival at the Vandermolen Blueberry farm. Super blonde kids running amuck and the whole roasted pig was being cut for the lunch feast, piles of sweet corn steamed, blueberry deserts of all kinds being passed around. YUUUMM! Here are some photos!

HERES THE LINK

MOTION CAPTURE MODELING

I kicked it, punched it, tackled it, elbowed it, shouldered it, showed it a little love then smacked it, slapped it, dodged it, slammed it, kneed it, killed it!